A year ago today I had my egg retrieval for our failed IVF. I brought it up to my husband this morning and he asked me why I wanted to remember the bad things. I told him that I guess I was reflecting on how far we've come from where we've been.
Last September I was heartbroken and defeated. I knew that we wouldn't be going for another round of IVF. It's not that it was financially out of our reach, we could have sacrificed and saved to have another try, but I just knew that my soul, heart and body were tapped out. I was concerned with what all of the fertility drugs were doing to my body in the long run and I had this feeling in my gut that we could force it again and still not get the embryos we needed to transfer into my uterus to hopefully conceive a child.
After I cried and cried ...............and cried some more, I picked myself up and started to research other other options. I knew embryo adoption was an option, and we already had a current home study, so why not look into that?
It turned out to be our saving grace. Today I'm 28 weeks 1 day pregnant with our adopted son. It's a miracle what a difference a year makes. I had my 28 week appointment yesterday and passed my glucose test. I also had an ultrasound that checked our son's growth. The computer calculated him to be around 2 lbs 12 ounces. Wow!
We had to fight hard to get here. There were lots and lots of hoops to jump through. We drove thousands of miles (spent thousands of dollars) but the mileage and the cash seem like such easy things when I hear my baby's heartbeat and see him moving around on the ultra sound screen.
So - what a difference 365 days can make in the life of our growing little family. It can strengthen a marriage that was stretched thin and fill it with hope and strength and faith. It can ease the strain of isolation on an extended family due to the sorrow and misunderstandings of infertility.
I can't believe I'm sitting here - pregnant. Not when I think about what our odds were. Not when I think about how one family across the country would have to be so generous as to allow us to adopt their embryos and trust us to raise a little one that is so precious to them as well.
But it happened.
We have been blessed by God. So very blessed.
praying for everyone on this hard road,
xo Jill
