baby steps

Ever since we were diagnosed with infertility our life has seemed to progress by inches. Other couples have seemed to fly by us hitting milestone after milestone. The biggest of these being parenthood.

It hasn't been easy. In so many ways it seems like we're still kids to our parents and siblings because we don't have children of our own. There's a certain mark of respect - it feels like to me - that parents get from other parents just because they are parents.

It feels like you're not fully a grown up until you have your own little person to boss around.

Our journey on the path to our family has been brutal. There have been days - no weeks - that I have been so down in the dumps that I would sit in the bathroom and cry at work and then pull myself together and then drag myself back to my desk. I have had to endure the pregnancies of sisters and sister-in-laws and smile and hope with them while my own hope was broken.

It's just been . . . hard. Brutal.

But I'm proud that my husband and I didn't give up. We fought, we cried, we prayed and we healed. Embryo adoption has given us a new hope. Step by step we have jumped through the hoops required by the agencies and doctors involved and we are finally so close to our March transfer that I can almost feel the burn of my first Lupron shot.

I can't wait to stick myself.

We are expecting to receive some embryo matches from donor families by the end of the week. I hope they get here so that we can review them over the weekend.

More baby steps.

I pray one day we get to stop inching forward and fly forward into the future with a baby in our arms. I just want to watch my baby take his or her first step one day.

That's my dream.

Sending Love:

Jillian

anniversary # 3 - waffles and wine

Well, anniversary number three has come and gone.

(It was kinda anti-climatic - can you believe that?)

I bet you can.

We actually had our interview with the social worker from the National Fertility Support Center on the night of our anniversary. We were in such a hurry about dinner, because we did a call-in at 6 pm, that I made us waffles.

I also had a glass of wine.

So, all of our paperwork has been turned into the National Fertility Support Center and our social worker said that she would submit the proper paperwork to the National Embryo Donation Center on Friday.

That's tomorrow!

Then we can start being matched. 

I got my period on Tuesday, so now I only have one more cycle to go before I start birth control pills and my drug protocol in February.

We could be pregnant in March, ya'all!

Woot! Woot!

Feeling good.

Jillian

new year

Hello everyone:

Today I sent in the all of our paperwork to have our home study reviewed by the National Fertility Support Center. Our anniversary is just around the corner - next Wednesday to be exact - and a hot copy of our home study will be in the hands of the NFSC staff for their review and approval.

Ever since our failed IVF back in early September, I have been counting down the days to our 3rd Anniversary. In a way the days seemed to drag, but they also seemed to fly by. The holidays are over and I do not mourn their passing, they were darn hard to live through this year.

My husband asked me what I wanted for our Anniversary and I said I didn't want anything. I just wanted the day to finally get here.

Tomorrow I'm going shopping to stock up on all of the vitamins, supplements and healthy ingredients that I will be needing for our upcoming frozen embryo transfer in March. I've already cut out coffee.

For our first (and last) IVF cycle last summer I pumped up and avocados, whole grains, fresh fruits and water. I suspect I will try a combination of all of those things this time around. I will be starting up acupuncture again at the end of January and I will be doing an herbal cleanse during my upcoming period.

I'm considering doing an endometrial biopsy scraping the cycle before our transfer in March.
Does anyone have any feedback that they could provide me on that? Do you think it works, doesn't work? I would value some feedback.

Plus any other advice that anyone can give me on supplements or foods to load up on in the months leading up to our FET transfer.

Sending love and hope:

Jillian