The days go by . . .
I was sitting at a stoplight on my way home from work and I realized that I was praying. I've been doing that a lot lately and it's really improved my attitude and outlook on life. Mainly I've been giving thanks for all of the blessings in my life. Like my health, husband, and job. This beautiful world. The fall weather has been beautiful around here.
I've been praying for patience and strength. Praying that I can be a good wife, friend, sister and daughter and one day . . . a mom.
I've been praying lately too for our donor family - the couple who will donate their embryos for us to adopt. Praying for guidance and that we are connected with a really great people who are healthy and strong . . . so that our kids will inherit those traits.
At the beginning of September I knew we had a six month wait until we could transfer the embryos in March. We're already 1/3 of the way through our wait now that it is the end of October.
The days go by . . .
We paid off a huge chunk of my student loans yesterday with our refunded money from our failed IVF. They refunded us about 45% of the initial fees charged. I wish we had a baby instead of a refund . . . but I'm glad we could turn and use the money responsibly. I may not want to work as much when I'm a mother - so sacrifice now and reap the benefits later.
We've been following the Total Money Makeover, by Dave Ramsey which I would highly recommend. Infertility treatments often balance on the health and wealth of a couple's finances. That's so sad, but it's very true. Not having the money to do a treatment would be heartbreaking. One of the best things for my marriage has been getting on the same page financially. We've agreed to sacrifice certain things so that we can make a go at this dream we have called having a family.
It means staying in our starter house (we'll probably be here forever) and not going on vacations, but if I can hear my kids calling out to me someday in this house it will be worth every dream that we've let go of. Family is the most important thing.
So . . . the days are going by . . . I hope and pray they are bringing us closer to our family. I pray for each of you too - that you get the families you're praying for as well.
XOXO
Jillian
You so aren't alone in this! We live in a starter home, too, and have no intentions of leaving due to circumstances. And I have blogged several times on giving up vacations (something that is really important to me- I love planning trips, traveling, photography while we're traveling, scrapbooking the trip... and I gave all that up the past several years just to save money to try to be parents). I'm happy you're already a third of the way through the wait!
ReplyDeleteI am praying for you and your family. I have been away from blogging for over a month as work became busy, but I'm back again to check in on my favorite blogs.I'm happy to see that your plans are in motion and so many good things are on the horizon! In my own experience, not only with infertility, but with the awful stuff in life (cancer, in my personal case) you are right that faith and prayer are the strongest tools we have to get us through. God is with us, even when it feels like He turned his back on us; he is still listening. Lots of love and prayers to you.
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