grateful

Beta #1 on 3/26 --- 117
Beta #2 on 3/30 --- 591

We are shocked and utterly grateful for these numbers. I breathed a little sigh of relief this afternoon after I spoke to the nurse at our clinic, now we have to wait for our first ultrasound to see our child and find a heartbeat.

I am so grateful. I am shocked this worked. I hoped it would work, but after so many treatments and disappointment after disappointment I was starting to feel like our treatments would be an endless cycle of attempts that would just go on forever.

Why me? I know there are so many other women who pray every day for this opportunity. I won't take a moment for granted. I will never wish this away or complain. I am so blessed.

I'm praying for a healthy development and a little baby around the first of December.

Just the thought that there will be three stockings hanging on the wall this year gets me chocked up.

Thank you God for this blessing.

Thank you all for your well wishes and support. Please pray for the continued healthy development and growth of our baby.

Jill xoxo

positive

I was on my knees thanking God this morning.

I woke up at 3 am and just laid there until 5:45, when my bladder was aching so bad that I couldn't take it any more and I knew I had to get up to take the test. I did it, but left it laying face down on the sink and then crawled back into bed with my husband.

We prayed for a while and then he got up to look at the test.

I said: "We need to see two lines."

He went into the bathroom and there was dead silence for 20 seconds. I was thinking: this isn't going to be good.

Then he walked out and said: "One line is lighter than the other, does that still count?"

Hell yes!!!

First beta today was 117. We'll take that and hopefully we are on out way to a family.

I am so humbled and grateful to be getting the opportunity to be pregnant. If I hadn't been through this struggle I would have never know how precious family is. I hope we can continue to have good luck and deliver a healthy baby in nine months, but for now I am so grateful for that second line.

I'm so grateful to our donor family, for giving us their embryos so that we can have a family. It's a priceless gift. 

Jill xoxo

the weekend

Saturday and Sunday have been good. We had a birthday party for my husband yesterday and his entire family was over at our house, so I was busy and my mind was occupied. When everyone left that evening my husband and I sat chatting on the sofa. We're hoping that we get to share good news with them soon.

I can't really claim that I have any symptoms. My breasts are bigger, but I know that's from the progesterone. I have been feeling slight twinges in my uterus, but that happened more on days 1, 2 and 3, then it's happening now. The only weird symptom that I may have is that I get winded when I walk a block, or when I've been standing on my feet for too long. It could all be the drugs.

One thing I know for sure is that I have no regrets in trying Embryo Adoption. My heart is so grateful to our donors and to all of the people online who have given me support and encouragement.

Praying for a positive in a few days. We've decided that we're not going to test until the morning of our beta. I'm traveling for work Tuesday and Wednesday and my husband has a final on Thursday - which is our BETA day. We will test that morning so that we're prepared for the news.

Will we finally get lucky? Will our prayers finally get answered?

Hoping for the best, praying I have the strength to deal with disappointment and rebound for another cycle. Trying to trust in God - that he has a plan for us and that there is JOY ahead.

Jill xoxo

transfer day + 3 days past 5 day transfer

Our transfer day was on Monday and it went as good as I had hoped that it would. Out of the three five-day embryos that we adopted from our first family, two survived. They were looking good at 3AB and 3AC just before transfer, so I'm hoping that at this point they have expanded, hatched and snuggled right into my uterus.

This was my first transfer of any kind, we didn't get to transfer anything after our failed IVF attempt this past September, so I thought I knew what to expect (and for the most part I did) but I was not expecting that alcohol swab you know where at the beginning of the transfer procedure. Whoo-EEE!

That's all I have to say.

Our road trip was uneventful, which is exactly the way we like it. I got a lot of knitting in. I'm making a baby blanket and knitting another pair of socks for myself. I'm almost done with the blanket - this has been in the works since our honeymoon. And I finished one sock.

I'm definitely knitting to distract myself from the stress of waiting for our BFP.  The only symptoms that I've had so far is that I've been really, really tired. Last night I was in bed right after supper and I had some sensitivity in my uterus - a few pinches and prickly feelings. I woke up last night with sharp jabbing pricks in my breasts, can't say with that means. Hope all these things could mean that we are pregnant.

I'm still wearing my lucky socks! I'm taking today off work and I will go back for one day tomorrow, then rest up over the weekend. We are having a family birthday party for my husband on Saturday afternoon, that I have to make some things for. My husband has been really great about doing all of the heavy lifting.

I will keep you all posted. This is really hard being the one in the "hot seat" waiting for results. It's much easier to be an observer and pray and cheer. I knew it would be this way and I'm so grateful to be where I am now.

Praying so, so hard:

Jillian

ready for the road

As I write this I'm sitting on a heating pad looking across the room at a sofa piled with everything we don't want to forget to take with us on our road trip to Tennessee.

I didn't update after my labs and ultrasound on Wednesday, but everything came back good and my lining was at 12mm.

I had my last acupuncture appointment this afternoon, and I must say I'm happy to be lessening the amount of needles in my life. These PIO shots are literally kicking my butt. I was so tired yesterday that I was in bed before 7:30 pm and my behind is very sore and achy.

My achy breaky butt!

I'm not going to complain too much though, because I am so grateful to be getting the chance to do this. I am so grateful to the two couples that donated their embryos to us. We're hoping to only transfer embryos from one family at a time if they are of good quality. Each of our donors did IVF and had twins, so we are hoping that means the embryos are healthy.

I'm praying at least two survive the thaw, because that's what we're hoping to transfer.

We'll be getting on the road early tomorrow morning and stopping somewhere in Illinois for the night, then we'll push on through to Tennessee.

I'm praying God answers our prayers and blesses us with a successful transfer and healthy pregnancy and baby. I can't believe these days are finally here. I have truly been blessed with hope.

Will you keep us in your prayers?

In hope:

Jill

embryo adoption update

We are getting close. I did my last lupron shot last night and I'm up to three estrace pills a day. This upcoming Wednesday I have a progress ultrasound and labs and if everything is looking good we're set to leave on Friday for a road trip to Knoxville, Tennessee.

I've spent the weekend cleaning and cooking and relaxing. I made chicken noodle soup using the bone broth recipe that I wrote about before. I went grocery shopping and got the ingredients to make nourishing meals to sustain us all week. I've started my list of things to pack for our road trip. We even sat down together and ordered some audio books from the library to listen to on the way there. We picked out several for our 20 hour plus trip - each way. 

Here are the socks I knit for our transfer day. I probably won't take them off my feet until we get our beta results - they will be able to run away themselves!

I feel so grateful for our donors and for our five precious embryos. I just feel good and hopeful. It is a miracle that we are here. No matter what happens, I'm going to remember that.

I'm scared. I want this so badly to work. I want to be one of those women that gets to show you a positive pee stick. I'm scared to go through with the waiting and the testing (possible disappointment/possible overwhelming joy) but that's the only way that we are going to have a family - so here I come.

Thank you everyone for all of your support. For all of your kind, kind words. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for all the ways you've lifted me up. Please pray for us in the coming days.

Sending love:

Jillian