ultrasound and labs

I had my first ultrasound and labs done today. Everything looks good and I was cleared to start the estrace tomorrow.

I'm focusing on eating healthy, getting moderate exercise, sleeping well and praying LOTS!

We're watching Survivor tonight and praying that we find out we're pregnant before the season is over.

Thank you for all of your kind comments on my previous blog.

Sending love,

Jill

preparing for our FET

The month of January went by in a flash. We started the open adoption matching process with embryos through NEDC. I'm happy to share that we've been matched with two wonderful families and we couldn't be more excited to meet our frozen embryos in March. We should be signing the adoption papers with both couples early this upcoming week.

With our transfer a little over a month away, I'm going into hyper-drive to make sure that I'm getting as many nutritious foods and vitamins as possible. I cut out caffeine at New Year's (except for a few very tiresome mornings) but now I'm becoming diligent.

Here's my preparation plan for our FET in March.

• Prenatal Vitamins 

• Daily baby aspirin (per my doctor's orders.)

• Organic Red Raspberry leaf tea -  1 to 2 cups a day leading up to our transfer day. 

• Pomegranate Juice -  Up to 8 ounces a day leading up to transfer day.

• Brazil Nuts - a handful a day after I get my final "period" before transfer. 

• Nutrient Rich Food and Soups - as much as I can get daily. I prepare all of our food from scratch, and I'm lucky that my parent's raise grass fed beef. This week I'm making a flavorful Pho soup using bone broth I made this weekend and lots of fresh organic veggies and herbs. I've really been interested in nutrient rich broths since I read "Nourishing Traditions" a cookbook by Sally Fallon. Eating this way makes sense to me. Here is where I found the recipe for the broth I made this weekend.  

• Bi/weekly acupuncture for fertility. Check out Groupon for really great deals. That's where I found mine. I was paying $78 per session, now I can get three sessions for $40.

•  Gentle yoga daily - to get the blood flowing!

• Daily walk - I have to walk into to work anyway.

• Pineapple core - post transfer

• Prayer, prayer, prayer! Ultimately this is all in God's hands and I am so grateful to our donor families and for all of the wonderful people who have helped us along the way. 

Any other suggestions that anyone might have would be greatly appreciated. Please pray for us!

Sending love:

Jillian

baby steps

Ever since we were diagnosed with infertility our life has seemed to progress by inches. Other couples have seemed to fly by us hitting milestone after milestone. The biggest of these being parenthood.

It hasn't been easy. In so many ways it seems like we're still kids to our parents and siblings because we don't have children of our own. There's a certain mark of respect - it feels like to me - that parents get from other parents just because they are parents.

It feels like you're not fully a grown up until you have your own little person to boss around.

Our journey on the path to our family has been brutal. There have been days - no weeks - that I have been so down in the dumps that I would sit in the bathroom and cry at work and then pull myself together and then drag myself back to my desk. I have had to endure the pregnancies of sisters and sister-in-laws and smile and hope with them while my own hope was broken.

It's just been . . . hard. Brutal.

But I'm proud that my husband and I didn't give up. We fought, we cried, we prayed and we healed. Embryo adoption has given us a new hope. Step by step we have jumped through the hoops required by the agencies and doctors involved and we are finally so close to our March transfer that I can almost feel the burn of my first Lupron shot.

I can't wait to stick myself.

We are expecting to receive some embryo matches from donor families by the end of the week. I hope they get here so that we can review them over the weekend.

More baby steps.

I pray one day we get to stop inching forward and fly forward into the future with a baby in our arms. I just want to watch my baby take his or her first step one day.

That's my dream.

Sending Love:

Jillian

anniversary # 3 - waffles and wine

Well, anniversary number three has come and gone.

(It was kinda anti-climatic - can you believe that?)

I bet you can.

We actually had our interview with the social worker from the National Fertility Support Center on the night of our anniversary. We were in such a hurry about dinner, because we did a call-in at 6 pm, that I made us waffles.

I also had a glass of wine.

So, all of our paperwork has been turned into the National Fertility Support Center and our social worker said that she would submit the proper paperwork to the National Embryo Donation Center on Friday.

That's tomorrow!

Then we can start being matched. 

I got my period on Tuesday, so now I only have one more cycle to go before I start birth control pills and my drug protocol in February.

We could be pregnant in March, ya'all!

Woot! Woot!

Feeling good.

Jillian

new year

Hello everyone:

Today I sent in the all of our paperwork to have our home study reviewed by the National Fertility Support Center. Our anniversary is just around the corner - next Wednesday to be exact - and a hot copy of our home study will be in the hands of the NFSC staff for their review and approval.

Ever since our failed IVF back in early September, I have been counting down the days to our 3rd Anniversary. In a way the days seemed to drag, but they also seemed to fly by. The holidays are over and I do not mourn their passing, they were darn hard to live through this year.

My husband asked me what I wanted for our Anniversary and I said I didn't want anything. I just wanted the day to finally get here.

Tomorrow I'm going shopping to stock up on all of the vitamins, supplements and healthy ingredients that I will be needing for our upcoming frozen embryo transfer in March. I've already cut out coffee.

For our first (and last) IVF cycle last summer I pumped up and avocados, whole grains, fresh fruits and water. I suspect I will try a combination of all of those things this time around. I will be starting up acupuncture again at the end of January and I will be doing an herbal cleanse during my upcoming period.

I'm considering doing an endometrial biopsy scraping the cycle before our transfer in March.
Does anyone have any feedback that they could provide me on that? Do you think it works, doesn't work? I would value some feedback.

Plus any other advice that anyone can give me on supplements or foods to load up on in the months leading up to our FET transfer.

Sending love and hope:

Jillian

circle of friends

Today I went out with my girlfriends to lunch to celebrate the birthday of one of my closest friends. It was a bittersweet event because this friend - who I also work with - is going to be leaving her job shortly. My friend is really sweet, and, as a person who was adopted, has been very supportive of my husband and I as we walk this adoption path.

I'm really going to miss her.

Infertility has made me stop and consider all of my relationships. The relationships that I thought would be the most supportive have turned out to be the least supportive and miracle friends have come up out the shadows to carry me through some of the most difficult days of my life.

I am just so grateful. 

Last night I had an appointment with my counselor and for a moment at the end of my session we were talking about how infertility has changed my life. I told her that in many ways I'm grateful for the way that infertility has "woken me up" to real life. I've realized how important strong relationships are - and that they take work and nurturing. My marriage has become stronger and my relationship with my husband has greater depth. I'm trying very hard to learn not to take things so personally. Infertility has made me vulnerable in so many ways - I do wish that some of the women in my life who can't or won't recognize my struggle would reach out to me - but that hasn't happened. Now it's my choice to decide how to manage those relationships. It's all about boundaries, baby.

This struggle with some of my closest relationships makes me sad - and it makes the holidays hard - that's why I'm so grateful for friends that care for me. Being a good friend requires me to set down my burdens and gripes of the moment and support others in my circle with their stuff. Sometimes it's good to take a break from myself and wish others well. To sing happy birthday. To be a friend.

Infertility can make a person very self absorbed. It's exhausting.

My husband is always telling me to just relax now. We have a plan in place and the rest is up to God. I know that's true, I just worry. Today I stopped worrying so much and I had a little fun. In the years ahead I want to be a good mom and I want to be a good friend.

I pray I can be both.

Jill

(Image above: Heavy Words art print.)

good to go

2,000 miles in four days. From Minneapolis, Minnesota to Knoxville, Tennessee. We were blessed with clear roads and no car trouble.

And a clean bill of health and a thumbs up from Dr. K to start moving forward with our embryo adoptions and transfer in March 2015.

We feel so blessed right now. I'm tired with a bit of a stiff neck from driving all day, but I know that we are so very blessed to be getting the opportunity to pursue embryo adoption. Dr. K said that my lining and body responded well to the mock cycle protocol so now all that's left for me is to finish up my medication for this cycle month and then prepare myself physically. mentally and spiritually for this our upcoming cycle in March.

I'm sure that the time will fly by as we are matched with donor families and as we prepare for my husband's possible deployment. It will be a whirlwind as we try to prepare our home and families, file taxes, complete our home study renewal and just survive the rest of the holidays and New Year.

I feel kinda guilty because my Christmas will be in March this year - that's pretty much my mindset.

And in other news: CONGRATULATIONS to all you ladies with positive beta results. So happy, happy, happy for you all.

Blurg. Dirty laundry and the rest of the work week awaits . . . time to dig into it.

XOXO

Jill