Today I came home from work and ate the tops off all of the leftover cupcakes that I made last weekend. That was the only part that was still moist - and the cream cheese frosting is always my favorite part.
Thinking back now, I guess I was rewarding myself for five days of morning shots, but in the grand scheme of IVF shots Lupron isn't that big of a deal . . . needle-wise or pain-wise. I take my last birth control pill on Saturday. (I've claimed to be taking my last birth control pill several times over the last month - but this really is my last pill for this cycle.)
My first ultrasound and labs are this upcoming Wednesday and then if all is well we'll start stims a week from tomorrow. Things are going to start to move here. I've just been praying, constantly praying. We're about halfway through this protocol and I just keep telling myself "In three weeks we will be pregnant."
I feel a surge of positive emotion when I say that. I actually feel lighter, like I could float away.
I've been trying to push myself to think positively and visualize our baby. I hope this works and know that it can't possibly hurt. I've pulled out my meditation mat and I will be meditating each night before bed.
I just need to calm my mind and visualize my body as a safe place for a baby to grow and develop for nine months. Whatever comes will come, but hopefully the meditation and the positive thoughts will help us to contain either our joy or our sorrow at the end of this stage in our journey.
My husband is away at some training for the national guard, so I have the weekend to myself. I got a stack of books from the library and I intend to spend the weekend relaxing and being creative.
Sending you all love and hope.
Jillian
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